Author: Bessie Lo
A God-fearing women who has dedicated her life to God
My last encounter with Eddie was in the hospital when I told him, “It is time for you to meet your mother. I free you to go to meet her. It has been fifty years since you last saw her, and you have longed to be with her. It’s time for mother and son to have a meaningful conversation.” He seemed to understand and responded. He had not seen his mother since he became a Christian. Eddie had been under sedation for two weeks and in the CCU. I had not talked to him because he was in a coma, but I could tell that at this moment, he heard me.
Being told he may not make it, we had John, Robert, and friend Fiona up beside his bed. Each had a chance to talk to him for a few sentences. After talking to him, we noticed tears forming in his eyes.
Eddie was sometimes experienced as stern to those working under him because he worked hard and expected others to work like him. Co-workers and children were afraid of him. But he was extremely nice to his wife until the last few weeks. He loved me and never complained about me. In the pulpit he would say how nice his wife was in his sermon. Every time he went abroad, he would come back with a new watch or jewelry. Church members would in turn tell me how busy we were between ministry, school, and children. We did not have much time for relationships. I remembered going with him to visit a family in Cerritos who had just lost a baby. My purpose was to have a few moments in the car to talk. That was how I tried to make time for a husband and wife talk. We weren’t very successful.
He treated each church member as his own family. That was why church people remembered him and missed him. A few months before his passing, Mr. Chow was very sick in hospice care, and Eddie was very sick at home. That night at about 10 PM, Eddie got dressed and insisted Robert drive him to see Mr. Chow. Eddie could barely walk, but he walked around the house and prayed for Mr. Chow, who died the next morning.
God was especially good to Eddie. In the last few months of his life, God allowed Eddie to attend a banquet where area pastors and religious leaders met. That was a special meeting where he received a gift with an inscription: Eddie Lo, Pastor of Pastors. Also, one Friday, one young adult meeting was changed into a memorial service for Eddie so he could hear his own eulogy. I would tell him, “This is your eulogy.” He gave me no answer.
A few months before this meeting, he spoke in the church where he started his ministry, First Evangelical Church. It was a miraculous sermon. For the previous months, he had been quite sick, very weak, and not very clear. But on this day, each sentence was full of the Holy Spirit and his eloquence came back. Every sentence was full of the fire and inspiration that he used to preach with. That was healing for me.
It had been difficult for me to see him suffer in his last days; he looked so pitiful, and he started to scold me. I kept quiet and let him go on with his complaints. I figured that when we met soon in heaven, he would understand my heart.
When he got sick and was put under sedation, I was driving home from the hospital. I was told very gently that they would intubate him, give him two weeks of rest, and that afterwards, they would wake him up, and he would stop suffering from this constant coughing and feel better. Of course, I agreed!
There was a doctor treating a patient just a few beds away. He said to me, “Do you know that your husband is really sick?” I didn’t answer him, because there were so many doctors with so many opinions, and I didn’t know him. Now looking back, I realize that he was trying to tell me that this might be the end.
Driving home from the hospital, it suddenly occurred to me that there was the possibility he might not ever wake up, and this would have been the last time I would ever be able to speak to him. Horror set in upon me! You mean the last five minutes was the last time I could see and talk to him? Before that, I was talking with him about our regular life, and then suddenly, this was it? I suddenly felt a heavy wall of emptiness separating us.
A few days prior to this, Eddie woke up in the middle of the night in the hospital asking for me. He really wanted to see me. The nurse ended up calling me at 3 AM. So, I drove to the hospital. Of course, there were no doors open at that time. When I got to the hospital, I called the nurse, and she let me in. When Eddie saw me, he was very happy. And we were able to spend time talking. After a few hours, I drove home. I didn’t realize at the time how precious that would be to me.
But since he had been intubated many days earlier, we had no quality time together. Nevertheless, I spent time talking to him in his semi-conscious stage. And since I saw tears coming from his eyes, I knew he heard me.
Many grieve for years on the passing to glory of their spouse. I have shed tears less than a dozen times. When Eddie passed away, I cried for two hours, using up half a Kleenex box in front of a Catholic nun, Sister Barbara, who compassionately cried with me.
In the period after his funeral, many people shed numerous tears over Eddie’s death. For me, it took a while. Of course, I missed him, but I knew that Eddie was in a better place. For the previous few years, he had been in ill health and had been struggling greatly. He was now freed from that suffering.
God’s way is the best way, though I may not see
Why sorrows and trials oft gather ’round me;
He ever is seeking my gold to refine,
So humbly I trust Him, my Savior divine.
God’s way is the best way,
God’s way is the right way,
I’ll trust in Him always,
He knoweth the best.
Hymn: God’s Way
Lida Shivers Leech
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