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Saying Goodbye to Dad


Author: Lucy Chen

Executive and Life Coach, Award-winning Author of Building Resilience: Live, Learn and Lead, currently selling on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Build-Resilience-Live-Learn-Lead-ebook/dp/B0CMK26YP5)


Like many Chinese who grew up in the 1940s–1950s, my parents had little exposure to religion throughout most of their adulthood, but they believed in supernatural powers from early childhood. Mom believed her parents’ spirits surrounded her and blessed her throughout her life. Dad appreciated the priest who gave him the seemingly magic medicine that saved his leg and his life.


Baptized in 2004, my husband and I became Christians. Two years later, my brother’s family became Christians. In 2009, my parents converted to Christianity after feeling touched by God’s love and salvation. They believed His grace allowed them to overcome life’s challenges throughout the years. Religion supported Dad through the last thirteen years of his life and gave him the strength to fight various diseases.


My parents served as librarians for their church for over six years. As his health deteriorated dramatically in 2018, Dad had to give up his position. But he continued to participate in the fellowship and Sunday services. Bible verses became the nutrient source of his soul. Among his favorite verses was Psalm 23 (“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want….”).


I used to recite Psalm 23 with Dad while he did his walking exercises with his walker in his living room. With every wobbly step he took, I couldn’t help but draw a parallel to the notes of “You Raise Me Up” – the same melody that evoked memories of how he once uplifted me in my childhood.


The lyrics suggest that during times of weakness, struggles, and challenges, individuals can turn to God for upliftment and guidance. The very notion of being raised up became a symbol of God’s remarkable ability to extend comfort, fortitude, and a renewed sense of purpose in the face of life’s storms.


Dad, in his own remarkable way, leaned on the Lord Jesus so he could stand on the top of the mountain and walk on the stormy waves. It was through this reliance he discovered the boundless strength that comes from surpassing one’s limitations.


On January 3, 2022, Dad peacefully journeyed to heaven during his sleep, leaving an immense void in my heart. The person who cherished me deeply was gone, and tears flowed as sorrow gripped me. However, amid the grief, I found solace in the Lord’s presence. Drawing strength from my faith, I resolved to carry on, honoring Dad’s legacy of resilience.


At his memorial service, we chose a touching Chinese hymn, “The Lord is Love,” inspired by Psalm 23, to honor his life. On his tombstone, we engraved a profound message, “Love is patient, Love is kind,” in Chinese and English.


This verse came from Dad’s other favorite Bible verse—1 Corinthians 13:4-8, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…”


I found it remarkable how these words perfectly described my father’s character. Throughout his life, he embodied the true meaning of love, practicing patience, kindness, humility, and gentleness, just as Jesus taught. While Dad never asked us to include this verse as his epitaph, we felt deep in our hearts that it would be a beautiful tribute to the extraordinary person he was. His legacy of love, empathy, and kindness left a permanent mark on everyone whose life he touched.


2 Timothy 4:7 in the Bible says, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” Yes, Dad lived a full life and fulfilled his mission. He unloaded his earthly labors and enjoyed peace and beauty in heaven. During the grieving process after Dad’s passing, I embarked on a soul-searching journey, reflecting on his incredible resilience and the deep connection he found with Jesus.


Then, I thought about my own life and could not help but recall the wise words I have heard countless times, “Be grateful.” Even though I have gone through all challenges and struggles, I realized I have the blessing of good health, a loving family, supportive friends, and a fulfilling job. That’s so much in life I should be thankful for. Though the pain of Dad’s loss is profound, I feel comfort and strength from knowing that Dad is now at peace in heaven, enjoying the presence of God’s love. One day, I will join him in heaven.

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